To say that it's been a long time is an understatement....
Almost a full year.... a blessed year actually. I was off chemo for 15 months. From December 9, 2009 to well, last Tuesday, March 30th. My cancer has started "progressing" again. It was never gone, (ned - no evidence of disease), but it had stablized. Now it's growing again. I went back on my orginal chemo because it works for me - 15 months is considered good.
Am I scared, mad, worried, sad? No, not really. I am just one of those thousands of ovarian cancer survivors who balance hope with statistics. I know that the statistics say that when someone has had a recurrence, the likelyhood of another is great. Did I hope that I was one of very few who had beat it, yes. But did I expect that no.
Now is not the time to spend any energy worrying or crying... my energy is on fighting! I have always liked the phrase cancer warrior because we do not just survive, we fight.
I dont' know how Steve feels - I do know that he has already started talking about the trips we have planned for the next few months... he knows that it's one thing that I enjoy during chemo week. We'll talk, we'll laugh, we'll pray and we'll plan even more things we can do together when I feel good... because what cements us is our love, our freindship and our faith in Jesus Christ.